White males dating black women
Later, I tried to convey how hurt I was that he didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem to understand how bewildered I was.
There are, in my relationships with white men, so many moments like that.
Communication is necessary for any healthy relationship, and in an interracial relationship it’s paramount.
Every white man I’ve dated has, sometimes consciously and sometimes not, asked me to explain to them some aspect of blackness.
But the less work I have to do to make him understand how I feel, the better chance I have of getting through the next four years with my head still on.
Growing up as a Black girl who had primarily attended private and predominately White institutions, the following question has always been on my mind: Apart from those who want to satisfy some sort of fetish, why do White guys from upper-middle class suburban areas (generally) not approach Black girls, or girls of color for that matter?
And too many times, those same white boyfriends decided to sit out being my partner.
While I tried to explain to this man why what he was saying was offensive, my boyfriend stood there in silence.They’re in the streets, calling senators and congressmen, attending community board meetings, and holding sign-making parties. But while the political universes of my white friends are cracking open, I’m feeling more inclined than ever to cloister myself.I’ve gone on a few dates with white guys in the last few months, and the same thing always happens.Whenever I’m standing on a subway platform, I play this game: I hover near a person I think is cute and try to slowly make my way over to him so we get in the same car. Like most of the girls in my class, I wanted attention from the boys.When we do, I look his way every so often to see if he’s staring back, to see if we’ve got what my best friend and I call “the affinity,” a mutual acknowledgement that we one another. But while they chased after blondes and brunettes, I was ignored.